8 Ways To Empower Your Child
Empower your child
Parenting is such a challenge!!! No one ever told me that I would experience so many emotions in one day over these little (and in my case now – not so little) people in my life. ‘Empower your child’ – what on earth does that mean? I am doing the best I can and working hard at keeping them happy & safe. How do I empower my child without adding extra tasks to my day?
If you are unfamiliar with the thought cycle (then check it out here), most of our life is lived on autopilot and the choices we make come from our subconscious mind. So often we are not aware that it is the internal influences that shape our lives and will continue to do so unless we start making more deliberate and conscious decision.
Children initially learn how to view life from their parents and this influences shaping who they will ultimately become. By the time your child reaches the teenage years, they striving for independence and this forces them to make their own decisions. Empower your child so they can make the best decisions for them and build a strong mental health along the way.
- Empower Your Child with a Positive Attitude. The way you view the world will influence the way your child will also see the world. If you only see the negative & share this often – “I’m always so stress” or “I hate Mondays” this is the way your child will start to view the world too. Become conscious to focus on the possibilities of the day rather than what is holding you back.
- Empower Your Child with Trust & Honesty. As parents, we set rules & boundaries. As your child moves into the teenage years, these rules are tested and the boundaries are pushed. This is a natural teenage behaviour and they and doing this to develop a level of independence but also to subconsciously analyse your relationship. Honesty & trust must be seen as being shared both ways so the child can feel secure in their relationship (not always happy about the decision parents make) and begin to make positive choices for themselves. As teenagers are pushing for independence, you want to know that you have taught them enough to trust in their decision making. Yes, they will make mistakes but with honesty & trust, the relationship with remain intact and boundaries remain in place.
- Empower Your Child with Responsibility. When a child knows they have a responsibility, they feel a level of importance. The funny thing is, many teenagers will complain about responsibilities such as doing chores or caring for siblings but it teaches them they are important, they are loved and their life has value. It builds on trust and secures the boundaries and this influences the subconscious mind when making decisions.
- Empower Your Child with Respect. Respect is not something that is just taught, it is something that is shown. Parents must show respect first, not only to their children but to the those around them. A child cannot learn respect if parents only show respect when it suits them. For example – a parent says you must respect your elders but then gets angry at an elderly driver for taking too long. Ultimately respect starts with respecting yourself & the choices you make. If a parent makes a mistake, admits the mistake and makes amends, this shows the child through actions that it is OK to be human and still care for yourself.
- Empower Your Child with Unconditional Support. This can be very powerful but also very challenging. Unconditional support means letting your child know they will ALWAYS be loved, no matter what they do. They will always have a place in your life & you will have their back. Unconditional support does NOT mean that you will always agree with their choices. Choices are about an action or behaviour, it is not about the person. We can always change our actions. Supporting your child is about them as a person & builds their self-esteem, not necessarily their behaviour.
- Empower Your Child by instilling Gratitude. Gratitude is such a powerful tool to have in life as it teaches the subconscious brain to focus more on what we have and not continue to want what we don’t. Happiness increases with gratitude. Mental health builds with gratitude. Personal strengths develop with gratitude. The pressure of being perfect (which is impossible) is removed with gratitude.
- Empower Your Child with being Present. In the modern world, most of us are so busy with just getting by in life that when we have a moment, we want to tune out. So do our children. As parents, we cannot expect them to be more present, to feel the emotions they are feeling and to experience the world if we are not doing it ourselves. There are easy ways to begin to become more present such as lifting our heads from technology while waiting in a line, listening to our child while driving the car, stopping multitasking & accepting quality time – not always worrying about quantity. By being present, we teach children they are heard and they are loved.
- Empower Your Child with Expectations & Consequences. When a child knows the expectations it helps them feel valued and gives life meaning. Expectations allow the child to make decisions, make choices, whether good or bad, it develops their independence. But when a child understands there are also consequences, it often brings out the best in them. Consequences influences independence, influences future choices and teaches valuable lessons along the way.
Do you have any parenting tips you use to empower your child?
Love Always
Linking up with Kylie for #IBOT for the last ever time & Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
Good post. I had a talk at the high school on wellbeing and a third of the talk focused on Growth mindset – this seems to be a big problem at the moment. A number of htese address that.
I would have loved to be there and listen to you talk Lydia. The growth mindset should be taught in schools with the teachers on board so everyone talks a common language.
Oh gratitude and being present are two things I could definitely work on!
It wasn’t until I started working with teens that I understand it’s not a ‘lack’ of gratitude most teens have – it’s the fear of not being good enough so they continually want more. I teach teens to start focusing on all the amazing strengths they have & limit the time you spend on the strengths you believe you are missing
I’m consciously trying to give my kids a positive outlook and a can-do attitude so they have the skills and the outlook to overcome obstacles and feel empowered. It’s not an easy thing to teach but I hope leading by example and talking over my own thought processes will help them move forward.
I love your tips here – spot on!
Thanks Kirsty. A can-do attitude is such a powerful and life-changing way to go. What is the alternative??? It’s a choice. It doesn’t mean you are always going to get what you want. It just means you are going to feel better about the journey to get there
Great stuff and it’s a big yes on the unconditional love. I think even as adults we can love our family, support them but know that we don’t have to love their behaviour. In fact, I think there are a lot of take aways here for adults too. I know I’m not a parent but it looks to me like the toughest job in the world!
This would absolutely apply to adults too Sammie. The unconditional love is a really tough one. So many of us say we have it but then we put conditions on it. However most of the conditions are based around behaviour.
Having a baby has definitely made me think of the habits and values I want to model for him. Being present and not constantly on my phone is one I’m working on!
I go in and out of this one. Sometimes I really good and present. Other times I am busy and just say yep or no or wow but don’t stop what I am doing and don’t really listen either
Those are all great tips! I like them all especially the responsibility, expectations and consequences. While I think all are equally important, it amazes me when parents don’t teach kids about boundaries and consequences.
I see it too Sanch. It’s the consequences thing. Many parents try to protect their kids but in doing that they don’t learn the lesson themselves and that is the way we evolve in life.
A big yes to all of these Natalie! I think leading by example is just so important. As parents, if we show values of trust, honesty, responsibility, positivity, support, gratitude, etc in what we do, then we’re giving children a great place to start learning these values themselves.
So so so true Erika. You can be hypocritical as children are way too smart for that. They learn the suttle lessons too.
I love all of these. I don’t have kids but it felt a bit easier when I was a kid… having said that I didn’t survive my childhood completely unscathed. I do know I was loved though and my brother and I were priorities for our parents. We were taught to be polite and grateful and there were certainly expectations and consequences.
Just to know you are loved, secure & worthy are such important things to make a child feel like they matter.