The Thought Cycle
Mindset Matters
The Thought cycle
“About 95% of all thought, emotion, and learning occur in the unconscious mind – that is, without our conscious awareness” Gerald Zaltman Ph.D.. Harvard Business School.
Mindset training teaches you to move into the conscious mind more often so you can begin to make deliberate thoughts that start serving you in areas you want to change. Deliberate thoughts are when you decide how you want to feel and determine the thinking that is required to produce the life you want to live. It’s a little like supervising your mind.
Everything we do in life is to feel a certain way. We often want things, need things as we believe it will make us feel happier or excited or proud or peaceful.
- We want to feel a certain way in a relationship. It may be to feel loved, respected and happy. When we are feeling the way we believe we should be feeling within the relationship, everything appears to be good. If we are not feeling this way, most of us look outside of ourselves and blame the other person.
- We want to feel a certain way about our jobs. This feeling may be important, intelligent and confident. When the feelings are there, we act accordingly. Most of us produce better quality work and even put ourselves out there more to challenges and new learning. When the feeling is not there we are searching for someone or something to blame. The feeling of not being motivated at work or worry that you are not living up to expectations causes your actions of doubting your ability and therefore you tend to work at a lower level.
- We want to feel a certain way with family/friends. It may be a feeling of love, blissfulness and worthiness. Once again if the way we want to feel is there, the friendship appears to be successful and going strong. BUT when it’s not, we naturally look outside of ourselves and search for something to blame.
The Circle.
Inside the circle is life. Life consists of the past, other people, circumstances and experiences. Everything inside the circle has two things in common.
1. You have no control of it. We like to think we have control over other people and situations but in reality, we don’t. We control our actions as the situation is unfolding but there are usually others factors influencing the moment and this we have no control. Many people spend so much time thinking about the past, wishing they could change it, trying so hard to make the changes but nothing will ever work.
2. It’s a fact. This is something we would all agree on. If we had to take it to prove it, we would take it to court and all agree. We agree the past happened – good or bad is not the discussion. What other people say or do – facts.
Outside the circle
The great news is everything outside the circle is what we have control over. From everything that happens inside the circle, we generate thoughts. This is where many of our 60,000 thoughts come from. The thoughts discussed here are from what happens inside the circle, not the unconscious thoughts that control our breathing, heart beating and all those essential things that keep us alive.
THOUGHTS – occur from everything we experience. Thoughts are not facts – they are a choice. We decide what everything inside the circle means. Two people can experience the exact same circumstance but they will think about it differently and make it mean something different. This is how we know thoughts are a choice and you have all the power of making that choice.
EMOTIONS – are caused by the thoughts we have and these thoughts are a choice. We do everything in life to feel a certain way. Sometimes the emotions we are experiencing do not serve us and we feel like we have no control. However, if feelings are caused by thoughts and our thoughts are a choice, so too is the way we decide we want to feel.
BEHAVIOUR – our actions (or lack of actions) in life are caused by the way we feel. When we are feeling confident, we are more likely to push through barriers and make changes. When we experiencing low self-esteem, we tend to act accordingly by hiding away and sometimes even digressing backwards.
OUTCOME – this is a result of your behaviour and this is your life. The outcomes we achieve always tries to prove the initial thought was correct because that is the job of the brain – to be fast, efficient and correct. The outcome is all the proof the mind has been searching for.
This is a basic summary of the thought cycle. It is a very powerful tool when you not only understand it intellectually but you can put it into action within your life. Many people hand over the power of their emotional life to other people, believing they need someone or something else to make them feel happy. Other people sit inside the circle and you have no control over them, therefore, you are relying on someone else to do what you want them to do so you can feel a certain way. That is pretty scary.
The beautiful news is – you now understand the mind a little more and have all the power to change any thoughts that are no longer serving you. You get to choose to be the person you want to be and live the emotional life you want.
Have a wonderful day.
Linking up with Kylie for #IBOT and Leanne @ DeepFriedFruit
100% mindset matters. We’re on the same page. We decide and that in turn allows us to respond to certain situations on our terms.
A big example of mindset matters is my step daughter defying the odds and getting amazing results in her cancer journey last week. She was written off a few months ago by a team of doctors in Canberra. She made a decision she wasn’t going to lie down. Instead she stood up to fight. Her positive mindset combined with new science is working wonders. Yep, mindset matters.
OMG I loved reading this Leanne. She is absolutely amazing. I know mindset doesn’t cure cancer but thinking about it on your terms helps the mind develop the story you believe and make changes. The mind is sooooo powerful – so many of us underestimate it.
This is very interesting Natalie and I’m going to study it more. As a person with bipolar, I know my brain is ‘wired’ a little differently and a lot of what happens to me is actually out of my control, but I know with a lot of practice, I can make this less so.
I am a massive supporter of mental illness awareness and solutions. When you are struggling with a mental illness, absolutely you need to seek professional advice and often medication is required. Hey, when the brain needs help – give it to it. It is the most powerful tool you have. What I teach may not work every time with your condition, but it certainly can help you when your mind is clear to see things on your terms. Thanks for coming here and sharing lovely lady.
A positive mindset can help with so many things because you aren’t starting out defeated. Great post Nat!
Thanks Amy.
I find it interesting to think about the place of emotion in the thought process. There sometimes seems to be a disregard of it – sometimes that it’s bad and weak, sometimes an attitude “I just don’t have any because I’m so logical”. I’m not sure which is more harmful! I think it’s helpful to think of it as a stage as it seems more balanced than either of the two above reactions I see.
I am such a believer that we do everything in life to feel a certain way – so emotions are vital to your mental health. No matter how logical you are, you still want to feel a certain way – maybe it’s important or intelligent or organised. And your thinking is what controls all that.
Another great post! Positive mindset is everything. I’ve always thought that the body achieves what the mind believes so it’s really interesting to see the ‘backstory’ 🙂
I love that Sammie, the body achieves what the mind believes… what you think is what your mind finds all the proof to show you it is right.
Reading this as I ‘gear myself up’ to face another visit to the surgeon to plan a 4th surgery neither of us were planning. I have really needed (and will continue to do) to challenge my negative and feeling sorry for myself thoughts. Last night I wrote them out and that always helps..along with a few tears and time passing! Denyse x
Oh beautiful Denyse. I am sorry you are still fighting your battle so harshly. Those negative thoughts are so so normal and understandable. When I am struggling with a person or a situation, I do a “clear emotional workout”. 4 steps:
1. Write down the issue – without judgment.
2. Pull out all the facts. Then pull out all the opinions.
3. Read the facts – how does that make you feel. Read the opinions – how does that make you feel.
4. Ask yourself – why am I choosing to feel this way? Then ask yourself a better question – coming from a positive mind.
Hope this helps.
Very, very interesting Natalie! I tend to have a lot of critical self-talk that goes on and that is what stops me achieving what I probably could, if only I would believe more in myself. The mind has so much power over how our life pans out! #TeamLovinLife
The first step is to just become aware of your thinking and it looks like you are doing that. Congratulations!!! Most people don’t even get that far.
It has taken me a lifetime (61 years to be precise), to start to get a handle on my thought cycle. I was prone to acting on emotion and wearing my heart on my sleeve, but I have slowly started to use my thought process to my advantage. I now try to calm myself before reacting and even sleep on things now before taking action. It’s a much better thought process and a hell of a lot less stress. Great post. #TeamLovinLife
Sleeping on it is such a good one and something I have taught all my kids to do. I have found the younger generation react instantly to messages and often misunderstand the tone of the message. I always teach them to read everything in the positive unless it clearly says something negative. Doesn’t matter how long it has taken you Kathy, you have taken control and that’s all that matters.
Oh my god Natalie – so much to absorb here…. I don’t know where to start but it’s a wonderful post. I’m gonna need to think about this a little more as I can so relate. If I had a podcast I’d soooo interview about this as it’d be a great discussion! #teamlovinlife
I would love to have a discussion. I currently teach a program and cover different topics each week, helping people take control of their mind and improve their mental health. This week’s topic is “Other People’s Opinions – it’s none of your business”. This one I just love.
Really thought-provoking piece, Natalie. I was just chatting last night about something similar to a friend in relation to relationships and how it’s always easiest to blame other people for problems rather than focusing on ourselves and how we are thinking and feeling to find a solution to the problem within ourselves rather than trying to blame or change others.
#teamIBOT
That’s a perfect way to think about any relationship. First we must focus on ourselves before we can have any conversation with someone else as often the result is to blame. Blaming someone else for how you feel is the most disempowering thing you can do.